behind the song: a better me.

every now and again life begins to get crazy and i stop paying attention to the people and things around me.  i focus more on ways i can improve my own life and enjoy pleasures that this world offers rather than recognizing how my presence affects those around me.  every decision i make impacts the people around me, whether i intend to or not.  if i simply live to please myself then others will suffer consequences of my selfish actions.

it’s not that bettering my own life is a bad thing, but if i don’t check my overall intentions it becomes very easy to continue down a path until eventually i don’t even recognize myself.  that’s what this song is.  i stepped back and realized that i had wronged those around me just by putting myself first and didn’t take the time to realize it.  i tried to think of one selfless act i had done over the weeks prior to this moment it was a near impossible task.  i had lost who i was.  i didn’t like who i had become.

with all of this weighing on my mind i picked up my guitar and just sat in my room for a couple hours and just began pouring out lyrics as if they were a conversation between me and God.  i was just telling him where i was, what i had done, and what i’d become.  i felt terrible that i had lost myself.  i kept saying this over and over until finally i realized i needed to stop focusing on where i was and focus on where i needed to go.  i needed to figure out what i needed to change and do it.  so that night i promised God that, with his help, I would find a better me.

recording the song, “a better me,” was a really cool experience.  whenever i played the song i would stomp my foot and that’s where the light kick came from.  our friend travis briles came in to record banjo and did it in just a few minutes.

the song was pretty simple.  we knew it was going to be at the end of the album so we wanted to bring in an intimate vibe highlighting the people who had worked so hard on the album.  we set up 2 sm81’s in the room and everyone picked an instrument.  stephen played bass, seth played rhodes and a couple percussion instruments, while kyle played drums (with the ends of brooms i might add… we couldn’t find any brush sticks and it was too late to call anyone.  haha.  here’s a link to the studio recording).  at the end of the last chorus you’ll hear a little bit of the room noise enter the mix and it’s a subtle transfer from standard isolated recording to a live recording.  this song was extremely fun to record and it’s always a reminder that we should always be searching for a better version of ourselves.

A Better Me

I think I may have found a way
    to lose myself.
I put me up inside a cupboard
I thought I might not get it right
    so I turned to run,
But as I ran I began
    to come undone.

Every small mistake
Causes another heart to break

I’ll find a better me
I’ll find a better me
I don’t know where I’ll go
    But at least I’ll be free
I’ll find a better me

I saw in me the mess I’ve made
    and I couldn’t believe.
That I would lead my own masquerade
    and live to deceive.
But maybe I can turn this around
    and start to mend.
I know I can, I can be found.
    No it’s not the end.

Every small mistake
Causes another heart to break

I’ll find a better me
I’ll find a better me
I don’t know where I’ll go
    But at least I’ll be free
I’ll find a better me

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